I really didn’t want to write this post because it touches on some things that are painful and were hidden from me and the public. Many people who are struggling with suicide will act on the thoughts that are in their heads. If that is you please seek help. 800-273–8255 (USA) in the UK 00800 477 477 77 and in Australia Lifeline 13 11 14 Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467. Canadian residents call 1.833.456.4566.
Many years ago I had a grandmother named Grace. I don’t know anything about her because she died in 1942. Her husband was cheating on her and she couldn’t take it anymore and so she took her own life. My father found her and from what I am told, this ruined the family.
My grandfather was rich so he paid people to cover up the truth. Her death certificate was falsified, a fake news article was published and things were never the same. Both my father and my uncle tried to drink away the sorrow and had a strange relationship with their father.
My father entered into a short lived relationship with my mother and then left when they divorced. I didn’t know him although he lived very close because he was deeply troubled. I lived with a hole because someone was supposed to be there.
My mother got remarried and I had a stepdad I loved deeply but he was also troubled. They split and he later committed suicide. His daughters from his next marriage and my stepmom remain a part of my life and I know it affects them because I still feel the pain. My biological father died years ago so now I had lost both of my fathers.
When I was 10 years old my grandpa Harry killed himself. Mom lied about it but I found out later. Bad things went on at his house. Things that should not have happened. But that ended when he shot himself.
I’m going to tell you what I wish someone had told me. When people kill themselves, it’s not the fault of the people left behind. Never blame yourself for someone killing himself or herself. Whether you believe in God or not, He exists. The person that kills himself is not listening to the voice of God but listening to the voice of his enemy the devil.
Reject the voices inside you that say it’s time for you to end it. The first step is asking God for forgiveness and help. We’ve done so many bad things in our lives and we don’t deserve mercy, but God offers it in Jesus. Ask Him for forgiveness and to be the master of your life and heart. When ever bad thoughts come your way say to them in Jesus name I rebuke you. Lastly, seek a Christian counselor and a church you can get help from.
Finally a reminder: those bad thoughts aren’t you. The devil comes to seek and destroy and kill. Jesus came that you might have life and have it abundantly. Go up to the menu and click on home for more information about how to ask Jesus to be part of your life and then click the contact tab to contact me so I can pray for you.
Dear reader, God loves you. Don’t give up.
Following Jesus 